Caring for elderly parents

Key takeaways

Millions of Canadians care for an elderly parents.
This can be especially challenging if you’re one of the 1.8 million Canadians are “sandwiched” between multiple care responsibilities, including looking after their children and aging parents.
If you’re caring for elderly parents, it’s important to ensure you’re still taking care of yourself physically and mentally to help with the burden, while also managing the impact this care may have on your own finances.

There are over 7.6 million Canadians who are older than 65 – a number that’s only going to grow as the Boomer generation ages.

And while many people can live independently well into old age, growing older often means that people will require some degree of care – and it’s often their loved ones who are asked to step up.

Just ask the 6 % of Canadians who are “sandwich caregiving,” or caring for their older parents at the same time as they’re raising their own kids. More broadly, according to Statistics Canada 5 million Canadians currently provide care to a family member – including those with age-related needs – while also working full-time jobs.

It’s a responsibility that can have a profound impact. For example, a recent University of Alberta study found that caregiving:

Hurts job security, especially for women who are more likely to leave their job to care for someone.
Negatively affects earning potential, with 1 in 5 caregivers making less than $20,000 each year.
Worsens work-life balance.

Caring for an elderly parent can be a privilege. It can also come with pressures and costs – financial, physical and emotional.

This means that it can be important you care for your own wellbeing along with theirs.

Financial impact of caring for elderly parents

A recent survey found that average person caring for an elderly parent spends $6,000 a year looking after their loved one. That amounts to an annual financial burden of $48 billion across Canada.

These expenses could include:

Medications or medical treatments that aren’t covered by government healthcare plans.
Home renovations or modifications that might be needed to adapt their home (or your home if they live with you) as they age.
Home healthcare aides.

There are also indirect financial impacts.

For example, you may need to take time off work to care for your elderly parent, or you may not advance as quickly in your career as you might if you did not have this responsibility.

If you are spending your own money on caring for your parents, this will also impact your ability to save and contribute to RRSPs, RESPs or other investments for your own future.

Here’s an example to help illustrate this.

Mindy has been looking after her elderly father for the last 5 years. He lives with her full-time, and she had to spend $5,000 on renovating her home to make it accessible for him. She also spends about $2,000 month on an at-home health aide who can be there with him when she is at work. She also spends about $200 a month on miscellaneous expenses he might have like nutrition shakes and rides to his healthcare appointments.

This was disposable income that Mindy would otherwise have allocated to her retirement savings. In other words, caring for her father has meant that each year she isn’t contributing $26,400 to her savings. Over just 5 years, plus the renovation cost, that quickly adds up to $137,000. This doesn’t account for any missed growth she might have seen by investing this money, or the potential earnings that she has missed out by taking a step back in her career to care for her dad.

Mental impact of caring for elderly parents

Research has shown that caring for elderly relatives can directly impact the mental health of those caring for them. Statistics Canada, for example, surveyed carers who reported the following symptoms:

Fatigue
Anxiety
Feeling overwhelmed
Anger and irritability
Feeling alone or isolated
Depression
Loss of appetite
Sleep problems

This may be because of the added stressors that you might experience, like worrying about their wellbeing, or feeling overwhelmed with the responsibility.

These mental and emotional symptoms can also translate into physical health challenges. Stress, for example, may contribute to high blood pressure. Not having any time to exercise or make better nutritional choices can also lead to longer-term health impacts.

You may also experience “caregiver burnout,” which happens when you become physically and mentally exhausted by caring for someone else.

Physical impact of caring for elderly parents

Caring for an older loved one can often mean that they move into your own home.

This could affect you in a few different ways:

You may need to pay to renovate or retrofit your home to adapt it to their needs.
You may need to move to a different property, which could have knock-on impacts, like a longer commute or impacting your own retirement plans if your home was your own nest-egg and you have to sell sooner than planned.
You might experience increased stress or a loss of autonomy from the pressure of having someone living with you.

It could also impact your life in other ways. You may not be able to travel, for example, or your ability to spend your disposable income on activities you enjoy could be reduced by the added financial burden of caring for your elderly parent.

How to ease the burden of caring for elderly parents

There are a few things you might consider doing to help make this more manageable.

You could revisit your budget to find ways to cover these additional expenses while still saving for your own wants and needs. You might also want to explore any government programs that might provide financial aid to people caring for relatives.

Before or after your parent moves in with you, consider a clear conversation about how it will work – logistically, financially, inter-personally – when they’re living in your home. Who will pay for what? Will they contribute financially? How will you create boundaries that are good for both of you?

This might also be a good time to speak with your parent about estate planning. Have they made a will? Does it need to be updated to reflect their current situation? What about power of attorney?

You could reach out and ask others for help. Is there another family member who could help with this? Are there any charitable organizations or local groups that can give respite to caregivers, or who provide other services for seniors that could ease your load?

If caring for your elderly parent is impacting your work, consider speaking to your employer to see if there are any accommodations available. For example, is there flexibility to work from home a few days a week? Or could you exploring job sharing to enable you to stay in the role part-time?

To look after your own wellbeing, explore any options available to you that might help reduce your stress and boost your mental health, like getting a massage, speaking with a social worker, or finding a physical activity that boosts your endorphins. If you have workplace benefits or personal health insurance, look to see if your plan covers any of these expenses.

What’s next?

If you are caring for an elderly parent, consider finding ways to lessen the impact.
For example, you could speak to your financial advisor to find ways to look after your own financial wellbeing while taking care of their needs.
You could also invest in your own physical and mental wellbeing.

The information provided is accurate to the best of our knowledge as of the date of publication, but rules and interpretations may change. This information is general in nature, and is intended for informational purposes only. For specific situations you should consult the appropriate legal, accounting or tax advisor.